Dandan's replacement Blog 2
Another chapter from Dandan and his er... exciting cruise. I just cannot believe that poor Dandan and Anne have actually managed to survive so far... you must read all this in order, so please look at the chapter numbers...
Chapter 3
Christmas and New Year Tales
"Christmas Eve on a cruise ship is different, no last minute preparations here, and being a childless ship no kids to worry about either. Artemis is decorated throughout, Christmas trees, baubles and all, abound. Alongside the dining room, the chefs have built a nativity village from gingerbread, marzipan and smarties. It is lovely and looks good enough to eat.
Anne has had her hair done and is feeling better. Dinner is an understated meal tonight, casual dress the order of the day, given the debacle ashore in Port Elizabeth earlier, it needed to be. Passengers feel cheated, having paid good money onboard to P and O for shore tours, only to find in reality, everywhere closed. Disquiet is apparent among the passengers over our itinerary; and the resentment appears to be gaining momentum. Where it will lead, who knows, can passenger’s mutiny or is it just a common old protest, they hang mutineers don’t they?
Upstairs and out on deck, the ship looks fantastic, she is lit up overall, with a string of lights running from bow to stern via the mast heads. A helicopter comes out to meet us, hovers overhead and Father Christmas appears on deck, don’t know how he got down, could have sworn he looked like Malcolm, the head of security, must have been the Buds and Gin and Tonics, I have been slurping. Anyway he leads us in a rendition of jingle bells, and then it’s down to the big lounge for some more liquid refreshment and a disco party. Around midnight we stagger off to bed.
Sleep wont come for a while, I feel guilty, restless, wondering, what these smiling citizens of the third world, whose countries we invade for a day, really feel about the well heeled hordes that pour ashore, from cruise liners. Descending like locusts, some pointing cameras at all and sundry, clicking away claiming another scalp, another place visited. Others scour the stalls and souvenir shops, spending more money on the mundane and useless, than the average local sees in a month. What does that guy standing on the cliff top, who also has a Christmas tomorrow and a family too provide for, what the hell does he think as he watches the ship, itself, lit up like a Christmas tree, turn and sail away, those same passengers now back on deck, often with a glass in one hand and waving with the other. Does he wave back with a smile, would I, bet your sweet life I wouldn’t
Christmas day. An early breakfast up in the conservatory, as we watch the sun rise, then it’s off to get Anne settled in her place on deck, where she will spend the day soaking up some rays, we dispense with lunch knowing what lies ahead 3 o’clock see us returning to our cabin to bath, and dress for dinner, it’s the white jacket, black shirt, red bow tie tonight, god how I hate it. Anne looks good in her finery and like most women enjoys it, so what the hell.
Before dinner the ships officers sing carols, the pianist, a very talented lady, late twenties, I would guess, who not only plays faultless piano whilst sight reading, but is also the ships Senior Doctor, and goes from here shortly, to organise the hospital onboard P & O’s new super liner, Ventura, that will carry three thousand passengers, she is incidentally, also extremely attractive with a superb figure and an easy laugh. She is also married, to a bloody great South African guy, wouldn’t you just know it.
Dinner is superb; the courses keep coming. First a choice of half a dozen starters, then there is Salmon as a fish course or alternatively, one of three soups, Champaign Sorbet comes next, then the main course, Turkey, Ham, Sausage, half a dozen different Veggies and all the trimmings or, if you didn’t fancy that, the Salmon or three other choices including Steak. Several different sweets, including Christmas pudding flamed with brandy, followed by Stilton steeped with Port, or the cheese board with its many choices, Then Christmas Cake, Mince Pies, and chocolates. All washed down by some very nice Merlot, Phew it was a sensational meal.
Dinner over there is a show to watch, or drink to be had, while the pianist plays a Christmas selection, we stayed a while then stuffed and tired we fell into bed and slept.
Boxing Day, P & O have done it again, we dock in Durban, Billed as the playground of South Africa, because of its stunning beaches and the life alongside them. The tours are booked solid, and coaches line the quay as we arrive. Unfortunately its boxing day, the day the authorities, bus in black South Africans from far and wide, this is there day in town, beaches are no go areas for whites, all streets leading to them are blocked off, road blocks manned by police bar the way. The Indian market, another prime location for tourists is also crossed off the list as being too dangerous, so we end up having a ride around Durban seeing all the statues, visit the Botanical gardens which were lovely. Finally being dropped of at the sea world aquarium for a couple of hours, where we browsed, supped a couple of beers and headed back to the coach and the ship.
People are getting angry two destinations in a row that were not worth visiting on the days we were there, whilst we could have easily have spent three days in cape town, the feeling is that P & O won’t pay the port charges for overnight and mooring fees, also they want us on board spending money rather than ashore, Mutterings that the American parent company Carnival is behind it begin to arise. Where is the planning, who did the research. Worse is yet to come
Discussions over dinner are heated, people are not happy. Dinner itself was great I passed on all the sumptuous dishes on the menu, asked for and got a plate of cold turkey, ham and stuffing with new potatoes, Large English pickle onions and Branston sweet pickle, delicious and just like home, wonderful, the other guys on the table were all sick they didn’t have it,
We now have three days at sea until we reach Mayotte part of the Comoros Islands, Madagascar; again it will be a Sunday, what waits there I wonder.
More trouble the Captain has been on the tanoy, we have the dreaded Norovirus on board. Diarrhoea and sickness is spreading, the main self service restaurant has been closed, all meals have to be taken in the main dinning room, as this will only seat half the passengers at one time, the queues are hopeless, we are only bothering with an evening meal the rest we miss. Toast and marmalade or croissants in your cabin are an alternative but eating on your lap was never my forte. Any one struck down with this sickness is supposed to report in immediately, for a free injection and then are confined to the cabin for 48 hours, needless to say many don’t bother. Where this will lead we do not know, it is the bane of cruise liners, and some ports refuse to have them dock if they are carrying it.
Oh dear Mayotte was the pits, awful, rubbish everywhere, rats were seen on the quayside, the buses were antiques, no air conditioning, ninety percent plus humidity and 32 degrees, A French Catholic country, so being Sunday much was closed. We went to see the monkeys, no monkeys as the trees that housed them had been cut down, the Vanilla museum, was two small rooms, another disaster, went to see the fruit bats but they weren’t there, after two hours of this torture, we arrived at a hotel for a drink, we were allowed one. They didn’t take Dollars, Stirling or credit cards, only Euros, so nothing else could be purchased, god bless the French.
It looked and felt like rain Anne and I headed for the bus, just before we got there the heavens opened. We were the lucky ones, this was monsoon plus. A cyclone was moving through, I have never seen rain like it; it was even raining inside the bus, the bloody roof leaked right over my seat. We stuffed handkerchiefs in to try and stop it. Outside instant rivers were forming literally, running down the road in torrents, water everywhere, the buses windscreen a waterfall. The hotel steps became rapids. Unreal, it beggared belief, half the passengers still sheltering in the hotel, the ship due to leave and you could hardly see across the street for rain.
Still, it gave us time to talk to our guides, they were a French couple living on a yacht with there 13 year old son, and together they had sailed three times round the world. The yacht was uninsured, insurance companies wouldn’t touch them because they couldn’t say were they would be at any time, meaning typhoons, monsoons, cyclones, rainy seasons, etc. couldn’t be built into the risk by the companies The lady had educated the lad thus far and now he was doing correspondence courses, which they could pick up and get marked and appraised in any of the French protectorates around the world, what an education.
The rain eased, the hotel produced some umbrellas, the rest of the passengers appeared, many were soaked, Lightening flashed, jumping from cloud to cloud, lighting up the sky, thunder cracked and echoed around, huge bangs, prompting the heavens to open again as the coach set off. Visibility again reduced to nothing, no blowers on the windscreen, condensation like we hadn’t seen since our courting days. Narrow roads, numerous roundabouts, the locals having removed there tops and shoes paddling along the road, difficult to see in the poor light, not much fun for the driver. A bleeper in the coach’s dashboard sounded continuously, driving us passengers up the wall. We passed a recreation ground where 14/15 year old youths played football naked in the rain, oblivious of their nakedness.
Eventually we reached the quayside, Artemis lay out in the bay, we had come ashore by tender and now we had to return. Still the heavens fell, even the swell travelling across the bay, was pressed down by the weight of the falling water, its crest not breaking into white horses as normal but, pushed back into itself as it rolled, lifting and dropping the moored boats it passed on its way. Anne with her stick has only one speed, but the guides worried about there son needed to get home, so we left the bus and headed for the tender, we were soaked through in yards. Luckily my camera bag is a good one and incorporates a rain cover which I had deployed; otherwise it would have probably meant the end of the cameras electronics. Eventually we reached the moored tender were helped aboard and headed for the ship.
All the tenders are driven by ships officers, in this case a female, she is about 25 and the third officer on the ship, she took us out, visibility was impossible through the windscreen with its small wiper, two ratings peered out through the open sides of the tender, giving course instructions as we went, we reached Artemis and with some difficulty lined the tenders disembarking point, up with the ships gantry and steps. The young officer asked Anne to let the other passengers go first which she did, and then we stepped onto the stairs and began to climb. Moments later an extra big swell, hit the tender lifting and pushing her hard into the gantry, Anne by now almost at the top, leaning on her stick as she climbed, was taken unawares and thrown heavily to the ground, hurting her hip. Her stick dislodged in the fall slid down the stairs and over the side, joining Neptune at the bottom of the sea. I got her to her feet and into the shelter of the ship, where she was put in a wheelchair and taken to the hospital. Nothing broken, but badly bruised and reduced to being pushed by me in the wheelchair, she was not happy, nor was I with another £50 bill, including a tenner for a new stick.
Again we dressed for dinner it being new years eve, I had managed to speak to my youngest as it was his birthday, thirty years old, god is doesn’t seem possible.
The New Years Eve dinner was a big one like Christmas except this time it was haggis to start this was piped in and the traditional Robbie Burns verse to the Haggis, was spoken by a young cadet and a right good job he made of it. Course followed course and this along with funny hats, streamers, clackers, whistles etcetera made for a fun time, Anne was in a wheelchair and not really up for it, so we went back to the cabin for a couple of hours before, joining some friends in there suite and seeing the new year in.
Trouble is brewing the passengers have just found out, that they have been debited twenty pounds for a visa for the dump we visited yesterday, no one was warned in advance, and a petition has been raised down at reception and everyone has been asking to have there name included. The captain has given in and we have all got our money back. People are still going down with the Norovirus despite all the precautions we are taking.
We are travelling a route between two cyclones, this has caused us to be caught in a unfavourable current and we are two hours late arriving at the Seychelles. The humidity is terrible when it is not raining; the islands are shrouded in mist and look more like the Scottish islands than the Indian Ocean paradise they are supposed to be. My camera had to stand for an hour, outside in the air, before the condensation clears from the lenses, so humid is the atmosphere. We go ashore and as we reach the end of the gangplank we meet Richard Digance the entertainer who is waiting to board. I ask him if he has had a good flight, “no”. he says “They have lost my bloody guitar, I am stuffed” he looked at Anne and said “Bloody hell you got a lovely tan,” Anne replied no its rained all the way this is rust. He grinned and replied “Bollocks” Anne loved it, and has been telling all who will listen.
We grabbed a cab, did a deal for the day and set of with a list of things to see, provided by my Daughter in law’s grandmother, a native of the island. It was a lovely day out, even though the blue skies were missing, and all was grey, most of the time. We got the flavour of the island, lush, green, fertile with Robison Crusoe beaches a plenty and wonderfully rocky. Giant stones stand isolated, where nature placed them, probably millions of years ago, worn smooth by the elements and surrounded by greenery like some giants rockery, they are a delight to behold. They must look stunning against the normal backdrop of blue sky and ocean. We stopped at one hotel for a cold drink and another for a barbecue lunch, asking the cab driver to join us, he seemed amazed. We were refused entry into the first hotel on our recommended list as a Minister was dining there, good job, don’t really want to eat at places politicians frequent, they lower the tone of the place.
There is virtually no unemployment on Mahe, in fact if anybody draws social security a job is found for them, in the words of the cab driver there is no sitting around here, we could learn from them. Interestingly though he wanted paying in dollars, because they have, he said to pay for spare parts in dollars, Seychelles Rupees being not acceptable.
Our day in the Seychelles over we headed back to the ship and off to sea again.
Wednesday 3rd Jan 2007 We are still tracing a route between two Cyclones, the weather is hot humid and changeable, alternating between rain and sunshine, with a constant wind a cross the deck, en route for the Maldives, we hope just for once for blue skies and seas.
To all my readers a happy new year from Anne and I, just a week left on here now. So probably one more post."
Chapter 3
Christmas and New Year Tales
"Christmas Eve on a cruise ship is different, no last minute preparations here, and being a childless ship no kids to worry about either. Artemis is decorated throughout, Christmas trees, baubles and all, abound. Alongside the dining room, the chefs have built a nativity village from gingerbread, marzipan and smarties. It is lovely and looks good enough to eat.
Anne has had her hair done and is feeling better. Dinner is an understated meal tonight, casual dress the order of the day, given the debacle ashore in Port Elizabeth earlier, it needed to be. Passengers feel cheated, having paid good money onboard to P and O for shore tours, only to find in reality, everywhere closed. Disquiet is apparent among the passengers over our itinerary; and the resentment appears to be gaining momentum. Where it will lead, who knows, can passenger’s mutiny or is it just a common old protest, they hang mutineers don’t they?
Upstairs and out on deck, the ship looks fantastic, she is lit up overall, with a string of lights running from bow to stern via the mast heads. A helicopter comes out to meet us, hovers overhead and Father Christmas appears on deck, don’t know how he got down, could have sworn he looked like Malcolm, the head of security, must have been the Buds and Gin and Tonics, I have been slurping. Anyway he leads us in a rendition of jingle bells, and then it’s down to the big lounge for some more liquid refreshment and a disco party. Around midnight we stagger off to bed.
Sleep wont come for a while, I feel guilty, restless, wondering, what these smiling citizens of the third world, whose countries we invade for a day, really feel about the well heeled hordes that pour ashore, from cruise liners. Descending like locusts, some pointing cameras at all and sundry, clicking away claiming another scalp, another place visited. Others scour the stalls and souvenir shops, spending more money on the mundane and useless, than the average local sees in a month. What does that guy standing on the cliff top, who also has a Christmas tomorrow and a family too provide for, what the hell does he think as he watches the ship, itself, lit up like a Christmas tree, turn and sail away, those same passengers now back on deck, often with a glass in one hand and waving with the other. Does he wave back with a smile, would I, bet your sweet life I wouldn’t
Christmas day. An early breakfast up in the conservatory, as we watch the sun rise, then it’s off to get Anne settled in her place on deck, where she will spend the day soaking up some rays, we dispense with lunch knowing what lies ahead 3 o’clock see us returning to our cabin to bath, and dress for dinner, it’s the white jacket, black shirt, red bow tie tonight, god how I hate it. Anne looks good in her finery and like most women enjoys it, so what the hell.
Before dinner the ships officers sing carols, the pianist, a very talented lady, late twenties, I would guess, who not only plays faultless piano whilst sight reading, but is also the ships Senior Doctor, and goes from here shortly, to organise the hospital onboard P & O’s new super liner, Ventura, that will carry three thousand passengers, she is incidentally, also extremely attractive with a superb figure and an easy laugh. She is also married, to a bloody great South African guy, wouldn’t you just know it.
Dinner is superb; the courses keep coming. First a choice of half a dozen starters, then there is Salmon as a fish course or alternatively, one of three soups, Champaign Sorbet comes next, then the main course, Turkey, Ham, Sausage, half a dozen different Veggies and all the trimmings or, if you didn’t fancy that, the Salmon or three other choices including Steak. Several different sweets, including Christmas pudding flamed with brandy, followed by Stilton steeped with Port, or the cheese board with its many choices, Then Christmas Cake, Mince Pies, and chocolates. All washed down by some very nice Merlot, Phew it was a sensational meal.
Dinner over there is a show to watch, or drink to be had, while the pianist plays a Christmas selection, we stayed a while then stuffed and tired we fell into bed and slept.
Boxing Day, P & O have done it again, we dock in Durban, Billed as the playground of South Africa, because of its stunning beaches and the life alongside them. The tours are booked solid, and coaches line the quay as we arrive. Unfortunately its boxing day, the day the authorities, bus in black South Africans from far and wide, this is there day in town, beaches are no go areas for whites, all streets leading to them are blocked off, road blocks manned by police bar the way. The Indian market, another prime location for tourists is also crossed off the list as being too dangerous, so we end up having a ride around Durban seeing all the statues, visit the Botanical gardens which were lovely. Finally being dropped of at the sea world aquarium for a couple of hours, where we browsed, supped a couple of beers and headed back to the coach and the ship.
People are getting angry two destinations in a row that were not worth visiting on the days we were there, whilst we could have easily have spent three days in cape town, the feeling is that P & O won’t pay the port charges for overnight and mooring fees, also they want us on board spending money rather than ashore, Mutterings that the American parent company Carnival is behind it begin to arise. Where is the planning, who did the research. Worse is yet to come
Discussions over dinner are heated, people are not happy. Dinner itself was great I passed on all the sumptuous dishes on the menu, asked for and got a plate of cold turkey, ham and stuffing with new potatoes, Large English pickle onions and Branston sweet pickle, delicious and just like home, wonderful, the other guys on the table were all sick they didn’t have it,
We now have three days at sea until we reach Mayotte part of the Comoros Islands, Madagascar; again it will be a Sunday, what waits there I wonder.
More trouble the Captain has been on the tanoy, we have the dreaded Norovirus on board. Diarrhoea and sickness is spreading, the main self service restaurant has been closed, all meals have to be taken in the main dinning room, as this will only seat half the passengers at one time, the queues are hopeless, we are only bothering with an evening meal the rest we miss. Toast and marmalade or croissants in your cabin are an alternative but eating on your lap was never my forte. Any one struck down with this sickness is supposed to report in immediately, for a free injection and then are confined to the cabin for 48 hours, needless to say many don’t bother. Where this will lead we do not know, it is the bane of cruise liners, and some ports refuse to have them dock if they are carrying it.
Oh dear Mayotte was the pits, awful, rubbish everywhere, rats were seen on the quayside, the buses were antiques, no air conditioning, ninety percent plus humidity and 32 degrees, A French Catholic country, so being Sunday much was closed. We went to see the monkeys, no monkeys as the trees that housed them had been cut down, the Vanilla museum, was two small rooms, another disaster, went to see the fruit bats but they weren’t there, after two hours of this torture, we arrived at a hotel for a drink, we were allowed one. They didn’t take Dollars, Stirling or credit cards, only Euros, so nothing else could be purchased, god bless the French.
It looked and felt like rain Anne and I headed for the bus, just before we got there the heavens opened. We were the lucky ones, this was monsoon plus. A cyclone was moving through, I have never seen rain like it; it was even raining inside the bus, the bloody roof leaked right over my seat. We stuffed handkerchiefs in to try and stop it. Outside instant rivers were forming literally, running down the road in torrents, water everywhere, the buses windscreen a waterfall. The hotel steps became rapids. Unreal, it beggared belief, half the passengers still sheltering in the hotel, the ship due to leave and you could hardly see across the street for rain.
Still, it gave us time to talk to our guides, they were a French couple living on a yacht with there 13 year old son, and together they had sailed three times round the world. The yacht was uninsured, insurance companies wouldn’t touch them because they couldn’t say were they would be at any time, meaning typhoons, monsoons, cyclones, rainy seasons, etc. couldn’t be built into the risk by the companies The lady had educated the lad thus far and now he was doing correspondence courses, which they could pick up and get marked and appraised in any of the French protectorates around the world, what an education.
The rain eased, the hotel produced some umbrellas, the rest of the passengers appeared, many were soaked, Lightening flashed, jumping from cloud to cloud, lighting up the sky, thunder cracked and echoed around, huge bangs, prompting the heavens to open again as the coach set off. Visibility again reduced to nothing, no blowers on the windscreen, condensation like we hadn’t seen since our courting days. Narrow roads, numerous roundabouts, the locals having removed there tops and shoes paddling along the road, difficult to see in the poor light, not much fun for the driver. A bleeper in the coach’s dashboard sounded continuously, driving us passengers up the wall. We passed a recreation ground where 14/15 year old youths played football naked in the rain, oblivious of their nakedness.
Eventually we reached the quayside, Artemis lay out in the bay, we had come ashore by tender and now we had to return. Still the heavens fell, even the swell travelling across the bay, was pressed down by the weight of the falling water, its crest not breaking into white horses as normal but, pushed back into itself as it rolled, lifting and dropping the moored boats it passed on its way. Anne with her stick has only one speed, but the guides worried about there son needed to get home, so we left the bus and headed for the tender, we were soaked through in yards. Luckily my camera bag is a good one and incorporates a rain cover which I had deployed; otherwise it would have probably meant the end of the cameras electronics. Eventually we reached the moored tender were helped aboard and headed for the ship.
All the tenders are driven by ships officers, in this case a female, she is about 25 and the third officer on the ship, she took us out, visibility was impossible through the windscreen with its small wiper, two ratings peered out through the open sides of the tender, giving course instructions as we went, we reached Artemis and with some difficulty lined the tenders disembarking point, up with the ships gantry and steps. The young officer asked Anne to let the other passengers go first which she did, and then we stepped onto the stairs and began to climb. Moments later an extra big swell, hit the tender lifting and pushing her hard into the gantry, Anne by now almost at the top, leaning on her stick as she climbed, was taken unawares and thrown heavily to the ground, hurting her hip. Her stick dislodged in the fall slid down the stairs and over the side, joining Neptune at the bottom of the sea. I got her to her feet and into the shelter of the ship, where she was put in a wheelchair and taken to the hospital. Nothing broken, but badly bruised and reduced to being pushed by me in the wheelchair, she was not happy, nor was I with another £50 bill, including a tenner for a new stick.
Again we dressed for dinner it being new years eve, I had managed to speak to my youngest as it was his birthday, thirty years old, god is doesn’t seem possible.
The New Years Eve dinner was a big one like Christmas except this time it was haggis to start this was piped in and the traditional Robbie Burns verse to the Haggis, was spoken by a young cadet and a right good job he made of it. Course followed course and this along with funny hats, streamers, clackers, whistles etcetera made for a fun time, Anne was in a wheelchair and not really up for it, so we went back to the cabin for a couple of hours before, joining some friends in there suite and seeing the new year in.
Trouble is brewing the passengers have just found out, that they have been debited twenty pounds for a visa for the dump we visited yesterday, no one was warned in advance, and a petition has been raised down at reception and everyone has been asking to have there name included. The captain has given in and we have all got our money back. People are still going down with the Norovirus despite all the precautions we are taking.
We are travelling a route between two cyclones, this has caused us to be caught in a unfavourable current and we are two hours late arriving at the Seychelles. The humidity is terrible when it is not raining; the islands are shrouded in mist and look more like the Scottish islands than the Indian Ocean paradise they are supposed to be. My camera had to stand for an hour, outside in the air, before the condensation clears from the lenses, so humid is the atmosphere. We go ashore and as we reach the end of the gangplank we meet Richard Digance the entertainer who is waiting to board. I ask him if he has had a good flight, “no”. he says “They have lost my bloody guitar, I am stuffed” he looked at Anne and said “Bloody hell you got a lovely tan,” Anne replied no its rained all the way this is rust. He grinned and replied “Bollocks” Anne loved it, and has been telling all who will listen.
We grabbed a cab, did a deal for the day and set of with a list of things to see, provided by my Daughter in law’s grandmother, a native of the island. It was a lovely day out, even though the blue skies were missing, and all was grey, most of the time. We got the flavour of the island, lush, green, fertile with Robison Crusoe beaches a plenty and wonderfully rocky. Giant stones stand isolated, where nature placed them, probably millions of years ago, worn smooth by the elements and surrounded by greenery like some giants rockery, they are a delight to behold. They must look stunning against the normal backdrop of blue sky and ocean. We stopped at one hotel for a cold drink and another for a barbecue lunch, asking the cab driver to join us, he seemed amazed. We were refused entry into the first hotel on our recommended list as a Minister was dining there, good job, don’t really want to eat at places politicians frequent, they lower the tone of the place.
There is virtually no unemployment on Mahe, in fact if anybody draws social security a job is found for them, in the words of the cab driver there is no sitting around here, we could learn from them. Interestingly though he wanted paying in dollars, because they have, he said to pay for spare parts in dollars, Seychelles Rupees being not acceptable.
Our day in the Seychelles over we headed back to the ship and off to sea again.
Wednesday 3rd Jan 2007 We are still tracing a route between two Cyclones, the weather is hot humid and changeable, alternating between rain and sunshine, with a constant wind a cross the deck, en route for the Maldives, we hope just for once for blue skies and seas.
To all my readers a happy new year from Anne and I, just a week left on here now. So probably one more post."
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