I had to write a bit about my mum, for the vicar at her funeral, so here it is.. I think I have achieved some consolation to know that Mum does no longer have to put up with all of her discomforts. She has had a particularly hard time in the last few years, and it was certainly not the way Mum and Dad had planned it. Mum has had so many medical problems its amazing she managed so well. The amount of people that have said ‘she was a fighter’ proves my point.
She has coped with a major ankle operation, a few months ago, just to give her a bit less pain and a slight bit of mobility, she has been struggling to swallow, her bones were no longer able to support her, she was refused 3 times to have a new hip, she has fought MRSA on more than one occasion. Sometimes she has just struggled to breathe.
All that and then the passing away of both her husband, Alan and her only son, Del. The stress levels cannot be measured, and yet we were getting through. All the time, all Mum wanted was to go home.. to be at Neuadd Wen.
Yet her life was not always like that…
She grew up in Liverpool and was even bombed out twice. She got through losing her father to cancer at a young age too, Her mother had to bring up the 3 children and work and so mum had to assist as she was the eldest. Mum always told me she had wanted to teach, but with the war and missing matriculation, due to appendicitis, she didn’t get to do her teacher training until she was married and much older. Mum used to stay at her Uncle Hughey’s house in Benllech, as a child. I think her good times, in her youth, were at Neuadd Wen.
Mum worked at ‘Reeces Restaurants’, in Liverpool and I am told she had a number of duties but her first job was to empty the penny coin slots on the gents toilets, she complained, but still did it.
She also worked at Thomas Meadows, shipping company, but so did her own mother, the snag was her mother had been too proud and lied about her age, so they then had to add another lie and say that they were aunt and niece, yet every one in Meadows knew the truth.
Mum met Dad during WW2, although Dad was a Londoner, they met in Neath, South Wales. Mum was in the ATS. She told me that Dad eventually proposed to her under a bridge in Manchester and they got married in 1945. They reached their diamond-wedding anniversary in 2005, and received the acknowledgement from the Queen.
In WW2, Mum was in at the start of RADAR, she even went on a course at Ty Croes that she told me about only recently. She even found an excuse to stay at Neuadd Wen then.
When Mum and Dad married they moved to Enfield, North London. First living with Dad’s parents and then in houses of their own.
Mum did her teacher training in the late sixties and became an infant teacher. English was her main subject. She taught in Enfield for several years, but had to give this up for a while to look after her own mother. She began working for Adult Literacy and worked for many years as a volunteer and also as a part-time employed assistant. She also got a position, part-time, in a college in White Hart Lane. Teaching English to hopeful secretaries.
I can remember saying, when I left school, the last thing I wanted to do was to teach, it was too much like hard work as Mum always seemed to be working, cutting out bits of card, marking work and even doing those assemblies. Yet mum was pleased when I went to college, later than most, and taught for 25yrs. Mum was always ready with advice and help and encouragement to me.
Mum was also a keen gardener and helped me on numerous occasions, identifying plants as well as wrestling with brambles in one or other house that I moved to.
But all the way through she seems to have had health problems, She has successfully battled with breast cancer and its treatment, and coped with a swollen arm for years, a remnant of the cancer treatment.
I remember rushing to Enfield once, as Dad was concerned it was the end for mum, as she had an undiagnosed, at the time, cyst on her liver. Yet she battled with that too, and returned to full health.
Through 2 broken wrists, a broken ankle, that required more surgery, and a hip that was inoperable, she has strived to be mobile and self-sufficient. She always wanted her independence and to be at Neuadd Wen.
The last couple of years could not have been a happy time, but everyone who has been in contact with Mum has said ‘She was a fighter’ and she did try to make the best of things.
I do wonder if she is happy now, as she is finally ‘home’ with Dad and Del…
